There Is Only Darkness Within
by Aunt Kathy
Summary: What if the episode 'Night' had gone differently and Voyager did not get out of the void that quickly? How would Janeway's isolation and depression have manifested itself? And will anyone save her from herself?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing. REALLY wish I owned the original idea for Janeway though (sigh...)

WARNING: M rated for overall theme and potential later content. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

All reviews welcome.

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She waited for oblivion. She waited for the darkness inside her to show itself, until she could see nothing anymore. Until she could no longer feel the pain of what she had done. Of the decisions she had made. She wanted to be blind, to no longer see the anguish of her crew. She wanted to be numb, to no longer feel the loathing, the anger that they all felt towards her.

They would be better off without her. They all would.

_This can only end badly if I stay…_

And with that as her final thought, she lifted the small vial to her lips and downed it in one, as easily as if it had been the whiskey that she had been drinking ever since they had entered the void.

She could feel the darkness consume her, her limbs grow cold, her heart begin to slow…

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To be continued... perhaps...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing. REALLY wish I owned the original idea for Janeway though (sigh...)

WARNING: M rated for overall theme and potential later content. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

All reviews welcome.

* * *

Commander Chakotay stepped out of the turbolift on Deck 3 and headed down the corridor towards his quarters. In doing so, he walked past the Captain's quarters. Normally, he would have continued on to his quarters without so much as a second glance back, but tonight he paused. A couple of days before he thought that he had heard crying coming from Kathryn's quarters, but he couldn't have been sure. The next day she had looked tired, her face so pale and gaunt that even the makeup she had on couldn't completely cover up the fact that she had endured yet another sleepless night. Chakotay had wondered at the time if he should ask her about it, but he had known that doing so would only drive her further into isolation, and that was the last thing that the crew needed right now.

Something was wrong with the captain, that much he was sure of, but he did not know whether or not to try and talk to her about it would be the right thing.

He looked down the corridor, to the entrance to his quarters, and then glanced back at Kathryn's. that was when he made up his mind, and pressed the call pad to the side of the door, and waited for a response. When there was none, he pressed it again. And again. Nothing.

"Computer, locate Captain Janeway."

"Captain Janeway is in her quarters," came the automated female voice of the ship's computer.

Chakotay was now becoming concerned. He pressed for admittance into the captain's quarters again, but was faced with the same reply as before.

"Commander Chakotay to Janeway," he stated, tapping his comm badge and trying to keep his voice level. "Captain, please respond."

* * *

From somewhere inside the darkness, a voice was heard. It was muffled and distorted, as though she were underwater.

_"…Chakotay to Janeway, Captain please respond!"_

_Chakotay!_ She thought, and tried to open her eyes only to find that she couldn't.

_He'll be fine without you, _came the little voice inside her head. _I mean, Mark moved on, didn't he? Chakotay will do the same. He might even get lucky and pull that new blonde you brought on board._

Maybe he would finally be able to move on if she was no longer there. He could love someone who would be able to give him the love that she had tried to deny herself. Mark didn't want her anymore, maybe Chakotay didn't either anymore. Either way, this had to be better than him wanting her and not being able to have her, right?

_Chakotay, I'm so sorry…_

* * *

"Computer, open the captain's quarters, authorisation Chakotay-Pi-Alpha-2-2-3!" The panic was now clear in his voice- he no longer cared about seeming calm, he just had to make sure that she was alright. He knew that she would probably be angry at him for disturbing her, but he needed to make sure that she was alright, otherwise-

_No, don't even think about that, _he muttered to himself as the door to Kathryn's quarters slowly slid open...

* * *

To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing. REALLY wish I owned the original idea for Janeway though (sigh...)

WARNING: M rated for overall theme and potential later content. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

All reviews welcome.

* * *

He stepped across the threshold and looked around. There was no sign of her in the living area, although there was a half empty whiskey bottle on the table next to her armchair.

"Kathryn?" he asked into the silence, but there was no reply.

He turned to walk into the bedroom, only to find the same. No Kathryn. He then stepped into the bathroom, only to find her slumped form on the cold, hard deck.

"Kathryn!" He shouted, kneeling next to her and rolling her onto her back. Her eyes were closed and she wasn't breathing. As he rolled her, the small vial fell from her hand and onto the floor. Chakotay knew immediately what she had done.

* * *

_Kathryn!_

She could feel her heart stop beating. And then… nothing.

_That voice… HIS voice… _she thought briefly before the darkness consumed her mind again.

* * *

Chakotay ran back into her quarters and retrieved the emergency medical kit.

He reached for the hypospray that would neutralize the paralyzing effects of the toxin she had taken.

He injected it into her neck, and felt for a pulse at her wrist. Nothing.

He started chest compressions, willing her to wake up. Praying for her to open her eyes.

"Dammit, Kathryn! Don't do this! Don't you DARE do this to me! KATHRYN!"

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Please review if you want me to write a sequel.


	4. A Brief Note

**A/N: **

**I will try to keep this as brief as possible. I am discontinuing this version of 'There Is Only Darkness Within', as I feel I haven't done my original idea justice. However, I ****will**** be posting a more detailed version, beginning with the story 'There Is Only Darkness Ahead'.**

**Send me a message with any comments or questions you have on the matter. I shall do my best to answer all of them, but flames will be ignored. **

**AK :)**


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